MiNDFUL EATS <3

Soup Recipe (Not Raw)

2008-12-14T19:36:00.000-08:00

So far on my high-greens, whole-foods vegan approach I am doing greeeeaaatt! I've actually (surprisingly) lost a few pounds ANNNDDD the best part, I'm alkalizing! I've gone from a 6.0 to a 6.8! I hope that's accurate because it's pretty exciting. Now I just have to keep up with it. I'm pretty full still but I'll be eating a big bowl of spinach when I get home from work. Here's a Southwest soup I invented today...yummiiiiee

1 cup vegetable stock
1/2 a pound frozen corn
4 green onions
3 cups diced tomatoes (you can blend this if you don't want it to be super chunky)
1 TBSP cumin
2 TBSP chili powder
Handful of fresh cilantro (chopped)
Salt, pepper & cayenne to taste

Dice up some avocado and sprinkle it on top.
I've also been craving blue corn chips since New Mexico so I picked up some baked blue corn chips with flaxseeds from Garden of Eatin. They were a little salty but deeee-lish!

Warm Food!

2008-11-23T16:40:00.000-08:00

So lately as it keeps getting colder and colder, it's getting harder and harder to stay raw! Warm food is so much more appealing in winter. Thus, instead of trying to force myself to stay raw, I'm incorporating more cooked into my diet as of late. It's also so much more EXPENSIVE To make a salad during the winter. I paid like $3 each for a bell pepper and a cucumber at the co-op yesterday, ridiculous! My CSA basket is brimming with greens but I'm not evolved enough to be satisfied with eating straight greens...I need some help here people! So right now I'm thinking of eating more steamed greens with different herbs and spices to liven them up. I'll also continue making my RAW green smoothies etc. but I really need to up my green intake as I've mentioned time and time again. It's so dang hard though! Anyways, right now I'm aiming for 100% vegan and at least 95% organic and 75% raw. That's that for now. I'm going to New Mexico to visit my Mama tomorrow and I can't wait. I haven't been in about 10 years and I'm super excited! Gotta go stock up on some raw meal bars just in case I'm in a pinch as far as food goes. She's pretty accepting of my decision to go raw though :)

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

You had me at chocolate covered greens

2008-11-17T20:54:00.000-08:00

Yummie.

Good things from Matt Mueller

2008-11-07T22:51:00.000-08:00

"When Dhrumil asked me to contribute My Way I couldn't help but to crack a joke. Was he sure I was Raw enough? Didn't I go out too much and stay out too late? I'm not exactly the Raw Role Model - was he sure that I was feature worthy? It was of course a joke, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I have felt some underlying social pressure since entering the community. The pressure to put up my best and healthiest front at all times. If you have a drink sometimes, eat the occasional cooked item, or go out past your bedtime some nights... keep it hush hush - right? This is about health and being RAW! - anytime you deviate from that you're obviously not having the best day ever. Go raw or go home they say.

Maybe I am making this up and no one else has felt this but I believe one of the most important things we can do is to be authentic. To be real, open, and honest people at all times. Warts, bruises, scars and all.

It's when we open up and share our true selves with others that we can create the space to allow them to open up as well. I believe magic happens in this space. I also believe that the most important thing for a raw newcomer is to feel that this life style is a hip, fun and sexy way to live. Portraying everyone as monk, living on only sprouts, always being perfect... well that may not attract people and keep them interested the way I hope too. Gone are the days of the crunchy granola types. In are the days of sexy people, both inside and out, eating great foods and living a m a z i n g lives. "

-Matt Mueller

Read more of what Matt has to say on www.welikeitraw.com

Raw Gurus

2008-11-05T01:18:00.000-08:00

Listening to so-called "raw-gurus" really makes me realize how much sense 811 means to me. No, I'm not ready for it now but I do think it's the most logical way to eat. When I first started looking into raw foods it was the same epiphany. I knew I wasn't ready for it but it just made SENSE to me and logically I made my way closer and closer to it.

Doesn't it make sense that we humans have an ideal diet that we are MEANT to consume? Every other species does, why wouldn't we?? Why would we need anything else besides that diet? All of these complicated raw theories and time consuming recipes are so unnecessary. Are they fun? Yes. Are they harmful? I don't honestly know. I know this is probably getting really repetitive but I can't help it. I keep realizing more and more how drawn I am to 811. I'm not gonna stress about doing 811 just yet but I do want to go on a green smoothie fast as my NEW new years resolution. Can't wait!

Ps, today I had no overt fats and I feel great and full of energy!

Greens with greens on top

2008-11-02T17:12:00.001-08:00

Tonight for dinner I blended up a ton of cilantro with some tomato, tomatillo, leak and jalapeno and ate it over a bed of fresh spring greens from my CSA basket and some sliced tomatoes....yummy!

I've been eating a lot of cooked food lately and binging on some REALLY bad stuff. I'm ready to be done with it.

I just read a Q & A panel with Jingee from Thegardendiet.com and she said that "there are people who suffer from an addiction to self-destruction, and these people battle between their desire to be healthy and their desire to destroy themselves, and in some cases, their desire to destroy themselves wins out." I don't want to be one of those people. I'm tired of being self-destructive like this.

I am rapture. I am passionate. We are bountiful.

2008-10-26T18:18:00.000-07:00

I had dinner at Cafe Gratitude in San Fransisco last night after a day in The City with my roommates. I literally think that might have been the first time I've ever ordered an appetizer, entre AND dessert at a restaurant in my life. We started out with WE ARE BOUNTIFUL which is a platter of 2 different kinds of crackers and 4 different spreads. The dill cheese was my favorite and the olive tapenade my least. The main course was I AM PASSIONATE (marinara pizza) which was pretty good. I'm a big fan of sunflower sprouts so that was a plus. My roommates got the sushi bowl which was pretty good and the taco salad which was okay as far as I could tell but I didn't really get the full aray of flavors since I was doing my best to avoid the black beans and not get sick. The layer cake (I AM RAPTURE) was banana and chocolate. The texture was greeeattt and as I was eating it I did like the taste but it left a bad vanailla extract-y (for lack of a better word) taste in my mouth. The tiramisu that my roommate got however was INCREDIBLE. You know it's good when a commited SAD foodie says she would go raw if "all raw food was like this". Overall the food was pretty good (I know my review doesn't sound like a rave or anything but it was) and the atmosphere was so cute. Going to raw resturants is a really fun treat every once in a while although I still think that simple 811 is the way we were meant to eat.

Cravings

2008-10-21T13:06:00.000-07:00

I forgot to post this in my last entry but it's a little more about the observations I've made over the past day and a half. Yesterday, when I did have cravings I was craving the WORST things (French fries, tortilla chips, bread etc). These are cravings that disappeared after my first MC but came back during my second. It's very strange how that worked. Anyways, I realized that it wasn't the flavor of these foods that I was craving but rather that I was craving a binge! I like the comfort of eating that QUANTITY of food and complex carbs are just easy to shove down. It's not that these foods are good, they're just satisfying on that level. So far today I've craved sunflower and pumpkin seeds. That just shows what Dr. G was talking about in the emotional eating section of the 811 book; when we eliminate those complex carbs and other junk, we look to fatty foods to stuff down our emotions. Wow, many things are making sense to me. I'm interested to see how my cravings will evolve on my third day of fasting. Right now I'm very sleepy, almost in a haze. I don't know if it's from sleeping too little or too much. I know I'm not getting any energy from food so that could be it. Last night I had very clear dreams like I haven't in a long time. When my alarm went off this morning I wanted to stay sleeping, not really because I felt tired but because I was so into my dreams. I use to have that feeling a lot when I was younger but I haven't in a long time.

Addictions

2008-10-21T12:10:00.000-07:00

Today I've got a short reading to throw at you; just something to think on. This is an excerpt from The Daily Raw Inspiration a few days ago

"According to the latest research addiction is a Chronic Relapsing Brain Disease. So when you feel an addictive urge to indulge in something that you know is not right for you, see if you can stall for time, until the dis-ease passes. Sometimes you will feel completely over it in just a few minutes! Try distracting yourself with your favorite hobby, or whatever work you feel most drawn to do at this moment. Perhaps our human brains are wired for addiction, and we can also help ourselves by cultivating addictions that are not destructive. If we could cultivate a few good addictions that could balance each-other out such as a work addiction, an exercise addiction, and a play addiction - we could indulge all three without over-indulging any one, and actually make our addictive natures work for us rather than against us!

In Joy!
Jinjee"

After fasting for a little over a day, I've made some observations that relate to this idea. When I'm not feeding my addiction for food or lending my brain to thinking about food, I leave open space for "healthy addictions". All day yesterday I was craving different random songs that I hadn't heard in years. I was thinking about music, art, love, relationships etc etc. These concepts are abstract and a little harder to digest. It's a lot easier to think about the simple things like food than it is to think about bigger ideas. In the interview on Rawkathon last night, Dr. G was telling a story about how he heard someone giving a raw food speech say he his goal was to make Raw Food the most talked about topic in the country. After that, Dr. G stood up and said that he wanted to make Raw Food so fundamental and familiar to every person that it didn't NEED to be talked about at all. There are more important things in this world than food. Wouldn't it be great if we all grew up in a world where fresh, raw, organic food was a GIVEN?!? We wouldn't have to think about it or be inconvenienced by a society where something so simple is so foreign to others.

I also caught this article on hotmail today. I'd like to hear what you think about it if you get a chance to read.

Right on Dr. G!

2008-10-20T23:37:00.000-07:00

Just watched the rawkathon interview with Dr. G. It's the only one of the 4 so far that I've actually been able to sit through. I respect a lot of the raw food "gurus", don't get me wrong but what Dr. G says just really makes sense to me. He has such a simple view on raw foods and how it ties into health overall. It's very comprehensive, quite the opposite of the magic bullet approach that fad diets and yes, even raw food can often take. "Eating well is so easy and such a gift that people actually need to experiment and find out that hey, the water's fine here...So that we can start paying attention to the other issues in life. Paying attention to our food and our fitness is not what's important in life. There's a lot going on in the world that need help." Dr. G is right! We need peace of mind, an ability to handle and process our feelings, connections with other human beings, sunshine, physical activity ANNDD a healthy diet. You can't have tunnel vision and just focus in on one thing. We're so hungry for a quick fix but that's not what life is about. It's a journey and the challenges are always changing. It's an adventure and it should be exciting, not daunting.

BED returns with a vengence

2008-10-19T15:43:00.000-07:00

I've been binging on highly processed carbs for the past 3 days like I haven't in MOOONNNNTTTTHHHSSSS. I think my cycle is that I restrict myself too much (811), put too much emphasis on diet and take the fun out of it. Then the stress that comes with obsessing over it causes me to binge. I've been eating a lot more highly processed foods since my second cleanse which is ironic since my first one helped me so much. Why is the second one hurting me????? It's such a horrible feeling to feel so out of control. I think I want to do a little mini cleanse for the next 3 days with some very alkalizing foods. I'm sure my stomach acid levels are having a fit right now. I just need some fasting time to reflect on my priorities and start respecting my body again Here's an excerpt about Emotional Eating by Dr. G

"One of the primary ways we handle painful emotional is to literally 'eat ourselves numb,' with dense, hard-t0-digest foods-the so-called 'comfort foods.' This is effective because of the nature of our nervous system. Our bodes have a finite amount of nerve energy at any given time. The digestion of food and the conduction of emotions each demand so much energy that they cannot be performed simultaneously.

A classic example to demonstrate this property of our nervous system is a funeral, where some people are grieving so intensely they cannot eat at all, while others cannot stop eating.
As we lighten our diets to vegetarian, vegan and eventually raw, we quite commonly become more aware of our emotional selves. When we commit to eating a raw diet, we gravitate toward fatty foods to provide emotional numbing, as most fresh fruits are not sufficient sedatives to overcome emotional distress. Usually this leads to the consumption of exorbitant amounts of nuts or seeds, which are easy to overeat, because they do not quickly trigger satiation. Digestive distress and undue suffering result from this behavior.

The answer to all this lies not in consuming food at all, but in maintaining emotional poise and developing the ability to fully feel our emotions. "

Wow, what a lesson. I know I have yet to really learn it, but I'm on the path which at least offers some comfort. It makes so much sense though. I stopped being so into songwriting and poetry when I first began struggling with BED. I thought it was just that I was so obsessed with food that I wasn't allowing my other passions in but that wasn't the whole of it. It was also the fact that I was suppressing my emotions by smothering my nervous system with food. For the next three days I'm going to live off of cucumber and lemon mineral water. I might put in a little wheat grass powder and stevia too just to make it even more alkalizing. I don't have a whole lot going on so I won't be stressed. I'll be able to take the time to relax, meditate and reflect on some things. I need to allow myself to feel and process emotions without stuffing them down.

Asian Inspiration

2008-10-18T15:22:00.000-07:00

My sushi rolling skills need a little work but this flavor combination is deeee-lish

tomatoes
oyster mushrooms
zucchini
a sprinkle of sesame oil
a sprinkle of nama shoyu

As far as assembly goes, I think it might be smart to use the shredded zucchini as the rice and press it down across the nori as a base...we'll see next time. For now I'm out of zucchini...that was amazing though.

I bought a sushi rolling mat and a bunch of chopsticks at an Asian Market downtown a few days ago and today, at natural foods, I bought raw nori and kelp noodles. I feel inspired to create my perfect raw stir fry for dinner tonight. I'll report back later!

Autumn delights

2008-10-15T23:06:00.000-07:00

Here are some beautiful raw foods that are currently in season...enjoy :)

Apples
Broccoli
Cabbage Chinese
Cabbage
Cauliflower
Celery Root
Cranberries
Cucumbers
Dates
Fennel
Grapes
Greens
Head or Iceberg Lettuce Leaf Lettuce
Mushrooms (my current obsession)
Nuts
Okra (another scrumptious new discovery)
Mandarin Oranges
Pears
Chile Peppers
Sweet Peppers
Persimmons
Pomegranates
Shallots
Spinach
Winter Squash
Star Fruit

Too much, sorry

2008-10-12T17:57:00.000-07:00

I have to apologize to those who I promised daily menu plans, I just can't do it. I told myself that counting calories would be different this time because I'm doing it for totally different reasons: health, not immediate weight loss. Despite what I told myself, counting calories for any reason proved to be too reminiscent of an unhealthy mindset of the past and I just can't do that to myself. Another problem I was having with 811 is the strain it was putting on my wallet. It's a lot cheaper to get calories from dense foods like nuts and avos than it is to get them all from fruit. For that matter, it's a LOT cheaper to get those calories from top ramen so I guess how much you value your health is the real question. Can I AFFORD to spend 500 a month on food?! I digress, I don't know any answers. Dr. G's book makes a lot of sense to me though so I'll definitely be keeping his philosophies in the back of my mind. I went to the second installation of The Health Series last Thursday and we watched the film "Eating". I felt like it was a little bit of preaching to the choir but there were some interesting facts in there. The conversation after was better though. The woman who puts on the series is Marsha Vernoga. I've mentioned her in here before. She's a raw foodist and then she brought two other raw foodie friends down for a Q & A panel. As usual, I was the youngest in the room. It was cool to be able to connect with other people interested in health though. It would cool if more people my age were into it but what can you do? I guess I connect with those people on other things so it's okay. At least I have my roommate. She's doing her master cleanse now (day 6!)

8/84/8

2008-10-09T03:06:00.000-07:00

or at least that's what i was at when i finished my big salad around 9 pm. since i got off work at 2 am, I've kind of had a binge. i was still eating all raw but shoveling sesame seeds, walnuts, dates, strawberries, cucumbers, tomatoes and an apple down my gullet, still feeling completely unsatisfied after the whole thing. i still don't feel satisfied. i think it's a lack of leafy greens. it's also hard because i have been counting the calories and trying to adhere to a strict 80/10/10 regime. I do believe that this is the best way of life but I think it might be too much for me to balance with my history of eating disorders. I don't really know where to go with it. The book makes so much sense to me but at the same time there are so many obstacles in the way. I'm a little discouraged but I'm honestly not too upset about it. Should I be? I've been thinking about my weight a lot lately which is bad bad bad. I gained back most of what I lost on the MC which was really disappointing because last time I lost so much and kept it off. I almost feel like I did the second cleanse for the wrong reasons and that's why I went about it wrong. My body and I definitely have some issues to work out.

811 Day 2

2008-10-07T22:45:00.000-07:00

So far I'm loving 811! It's not as hard as I thought it would be, just EXPENSIVE! I know it will be worth it in the end though. I just need to up my calcium intake meaning more bok choy, broccoli, collards, Chinese cabbage, kale, mustard greens, and okra. I should get some okra in my CSA box tomorrow I hope. I never had it before last week and it's AMMMMAAAZZZZIIINNG!

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

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All times are US Eastern Time (GMT-5) [change]. The time now is 01:40.



CALORIE SUMMARY

+ Basal Metabolic Rate*:	[view]
+ General Activity*:	[view]
+ Extra Activity and Exercise:	0 kcal
± Weight Loss/Gain Goal:	0 kcal
Day Quota:	[view]
- Consumed:	1991 kcal
Calories Left:	[view]

*Estim/d; may vary for individuals up to ±20% [change].



NUTRITION SUMMARY

Calories:

personal details") to get personalised chart" width="74" height="12"> personal details") to get personalised chart" width="10" height="12">

1991

(distribution:

8/84/8%)

Total Fat*:

31%

Sugars:

339g

Satur. Fat*:

14%

Protein:

43g

Cholesterol*:

Vitamin A**:

1149%

Sodium*:

61%

Vitamin C**:

1862%

Total Carb:

156%

Calcium**:

82%

Fiber**:

272%

Iron**:

136%

full analysis

NB: All % (excluding distribution) are % daily values (customized) [change].
* Try to limit these nutrients (<= 100% daily value).
** Try to get enough of these nutrients (>= 100% daily value).



FOOD AND MEAL LOG

Descripton/Name

Time

Summary

Chard, swiss, raw

36kcal

modify

Chard, swiss, raw

36kcal

modify

Beet greens, raw

42kcal (5/62/33%)

modify

Bananas, raw

315kcal (3/93/4%)

modify

Dates, medjool

332kcal (0/98/2%)

modify

Grapes, red or green (european type varieties, such as, Thompson seedless), raw

469kcal (2/94/4%)

modify

Melons, honeydew, raw

230kcal (3/91/6%)

modify

Lettuce, green leaf, raw

21kcal (10/61/29%)

modify

Pomegranates, raw

105kcal (4/91/5%)

modify

Nuts, pistachio nuts, raw

158kcal (67/19/14%)

modify

Strawberries, raw

73kcal (7/86/7%)

modify

Tomatoes, red, ripe, raw, June thru October average

76kcal (12/75/13%)

modify

Cucumber, peeled, raw

34kcal (12/70/18%)

modify

Peppers, sweet, red, raw

62kcal (8/79/13%)

modify

add food

add meal

Adventures in 811...Day One!

2008-10-06T23:35:00.000-07:00

So today was my first attempt at following the 811 approach. For the first few days I'm going to use nutridiary.com just to make sure I'm following it correctly. After I get the hang of it I'll stop charting. I don't want to get obsessive about food again!

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

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All times are US Eastern Time (GMT-5) [change]. The time now is 02:46.



CALORIE SUMMARY

+ Basal Metabolic Rate*:	[view]
+ General Activity*:	[view]
+ Extra Activity and Exercise:	0 kcal
± Weight Loss/Gain Goal:	0 kcal
Day Quota:	[view]
- Consumed:	1779 kcal
Calories Left:	[view]

*Estim/d; may vary for individuals up to ±20% [change].



NUTRITION SUMMARY

Calories:

personal details") to get personalised chart" width="66" height="12"> personal details") to get personalised chart" width="10" height="12">

1779

(distribution:

11/83/6%)

Total Fat*:

36%

Sugars:

321g

Satur. Fat*:

14%

Protein:

31g

Cholesterol*:

Vitamin A**:

432%

Sodium*:

12%

Vitamin C**:

1011%

Total Carb:

137%

Calcium**:

58%

Fiber**:

188%

Iron**:

83%

full analysis

NB: All % (excluding distribution) are % daily values (customized) [change].
* Try to limit these nutrients (<= 100% daily value).
** Try to get enough of these nutrients (>= 100% daily value).



FOOD AND MEAL LOG

Descripton/Name

Time

Summary

Grapes, red or green (european type varieties, such as, Thompson seedless), raw

626kcal (2/94/4%)

modify

Bananas, raw

242kcal (3/92/5%)

modify

Dates, medjool

332kcal (0/98/2%)

modify

Melons, honeydew, raw

230kcal (3/91/6%)

modify

Cucumber, peeled, raw

34kcal (12/70/18%)

modify

Strawberries, raw

36kcal (8/84/8%)

modify

Peppers, sweet, red, raw

31kcal (10/77/13%)

modify

Spinach, raw

33kcal

modify

Broccoli raab, raw

25kcal

modify

Nuts, walnuts, english (Includes USDA commodity food A259, A257)

185kcal (83/8/9%)

modify

Tomatoes, red, ripe, raw, June thru October average

4kcal (24/52/24%)

modify

My main problem was that I didn't buy (or eat) enough leafy greens. Even munching down what I did have was a little hard so I'm going to try to mix more with the fruit. Tomorrow it will be a green smoothie day for sure! Bananas and rainbow chard :)

11/83/6% was the breakdown that nutridiary gave me. I'm guesssing that's 11 from fat, 83 carb and 6 protein but it doesn't really say. I had so much energy today, I felt great and went for a 3 mile walk after work. I'm going to try to get to sleep so I can get up at 6 and go for another!

Way too much energy at 3 am

2008-10-06T02:56:00.000-07:00

Now and then it 's good to pause in the pursuit of happiness and just BE happy.

- Guillaume Apollinaire

This quote was a part of the Daily Raw Inspiration a while back and I saved it because of what a strong and important message it is. Although I generally tend to write about my goals and mistakes, there are so many things that I am happy with in my life. I am so grateful for the great family and friends that accept and support all of my endeavors, even the things they can't understand (like raw food). I'm thankful for finding out about raw foodism and all of the strides I've taken towards recovery from ED. I'm thankful for beautiful music like the James Taylor I'm listening to right now. I'm thankful for my ipod and my beautiful house. I'm thankful for the ability to acknowledge that those material things aren't the most important. I'm thankful for warm sun, green grass and crisp autumn air. I'm thankful for the variety of beautiful people that make life so much more interesting and fun.

Thank You Lisa B!

2008-10-05T18:55:00.000-07:00

Here's a response from a thread on GI2MR that I found really inspirational and wanted to share:


Reply by Lisa B on March 10, 2008 at 2:35am: Every time we consume something for comfort, (to suppress sadness, loneliness, anxiety, annoyance etc etc) the emotion somehow gets stuck, bound up with the toxins that were in the food/alcohol/drugs etc that we used to medicate our feelings with. (Generally we will not have done comfort eating/emotional medication with an apple or a glass of water!!) So, when you start to eat raw healthy food, suddenly your body has the resources to rid itself of the toxins it has been storing.
As the toxins come out, so do all the feelings that you stuffed down when...
you ate a whole litre of ice-cream when yr boyfriend dumped you
you smoked cigarettes to try and deal with stress at work
you got REALLY drunk when yr best friend got married, and you realised things were never going to be the same again

etc etc

perhaps it might be useful to think over yr life, and write down all the times u have medicated yr feelings with food, alcohol, cigarettes etc, and dont beat yrself up about being down- but realise at least some of yr emotions are really healthy!!!
of course, some emotional ups and downs mayb due to other things, like food allergies, relationship issues etc
is yr natropath supportive of u being raw?
if u feel too bad, maybe just back off a little, and try Dr. Norman Walkers intermediate diet. (u can get his cheap and information packed little book from Matt Monarch at Raw Success.com . I decided that when i went raw, (for health reasons) i was going to make it as easy as i could, and as quichly as i could, and if that means the occasional healthy cooked meal to slow down the detox, then so be it. Raw is not meant to be about more suffering!

Breathe deeply, take a walk, have a bath, cuddle a dog, be kind to yrself, and remember, u r not alone :-); ▶ Reply to This

Juice = Liquid Love

2008-10-01T23:18:00.000-07:00

I feel soooo energized and refreshed after the many glasses of both fresh OJ and pasteurized carrot juice/OJ I had today. I'm definitely in a better mood too and didn't have to sleep 10 hours. No nap for me!!! Yay! I dropped 7.6 pounds total during the fast. We'll see if I gain a little back or not. My pH hasn't changed since I last reported but hopefully 811 will help me become less ACIDIC.

For now I'm just running on a juice high which I hope won't crash until about 2:30 am when I'm home from work and ready to crawl into bed. I also made some apple sauce with cinnamon (unfortunately cinnamon is an 811 no no) with the big bag of apples I bought yesterday and I had a teeny tiny little bowl (about a cup total). The book says not to have anything but OJ for 2 days but I couldn't resist & I feel fine. I thinned it with water so it wasn't much more than juice. I'm ready for one more day of juice and then real food! I plan to eat pretty light through the weekend and then start the 811 sample menus on Monday. I'm going to a (non-raw) dinner party on Friday night to which I plan to bring a big fancy salad which I will eat as a main course and others can have as a side. I also might make some coconut date balls or something.

MC finale

2008-09-30T13:21:00.000-07:00

Today is the last day of the MC. Is it bad that I'm this excited? Sleeping 10 hours a day is so not for me. I need my energy. Last night I got a little less than 8 hours and today I felt like a limp noodle. I'm currently reading & loving the 811 book, yay! Can't wait to get started on that! Fresh fruit sounds amammmazzzzinng :) I went to my co-op for the first time in about a week an a half (a long time for me) today in anticipation of beginning to eat solid food again in a few days. A little premature? Maybe but oh well. I got some oranges to juice tomorrow. I'm also going to be supplementing with some organic (but pasteurized *gasp*) carrot orange juice. I know it's not the BEST but juicing that much fresh squeezed is EXPENSIVE and I'm on a college student's budget here. So yeah, in addition to these oranges I also got some slamming deals on a bag of bananas ($.99 for probably 2-3 pounds), apples ($1.99 for roughly 6 pounds) and raspberries ($.99 for a little container) because they were getting a little ripe. I also got some crimini mushrooms and a mango....yummm. I can't wait to eat them. I got all of that plus some raspberry organic lip gloss from Dessert Essence (love it!) and unrefined Shea butter which I use as a facial moisturizer for 30 bucks, sccccooorrreee. Also saw a gooorrrgeous guy in the bulk herbs section. He was very primped and pretty-boy-esque. Not the kind of guy I'd expect to see buying kombucha and broccoli....hot!

MC Day Niiiiiiinnnne!!!

2008-09-29T17:21:00.000-07:00

Today I felt very weak and tired. Bloating and cramping pains have been minimal. I'm definitely ready to start in on some juice!

A Message by George Carlin:

2008-09-28T16:00:00.000-07:00

"The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom."

Ain't that the truth?!

PS. Amazon takes waaayy to long to ship things. I want my 80/10/10 book and my CDs! Also, I'm hungry. Figs sound soooo good right now. Two more days!!!!!!!!!

MC Day 6: 4.4 down & .4 up

2008-09-27T23:51:00.000-07:00

I don't remember the specifics of my detox symptoms during my first MC but mannn, I feel like I'm moodier and sleepier than I've evvvveeerrr been. It might be because I have a lot of added stresses from school that we're there when I did my summer cleanse. Last night I was seriously considering cutting the cleanse short and starting juice today but I'm a stubborn little girl and I don't give up easily. It's hard to go against what your body's telling you but I know that it's not the cleanse that's doing this to me but the effect of the toxins on their way OUT. I pH tested and weighed in this morning and I've lost 4.4 pounds and my pH has gone up .4 towards alkalinity, yay!

Another thing that's been on my mind a lot lately is PRIORITIZING. I'm making my health a priority because I want to live my life with optimal energy and health. I want to live life in a body that I am comfortable with. I want to love myself. I want to be giving, loving and accepting of others. I want to nurture my gifts and peruse my passions. I want to experience life and all it has to offer me. I want to travel the world. I want to learn new things and share (not impose) that knowledge with others. I want to meet interesting people and hear their stories. I want to build relationships with people on a deeper level and maintain strong relationships with the friends I have as well as with my family. I want to utilize my time to it's fullest potential and BE HAPPY :)

MC Update

2008-09-25T23:13:00.000-07:00

The idea of maple syrup was making me nauseous all day so I decided that one day of water (with a little bit of lemon) fasting won't kill me. I slept a kind of ridiculous amount today but I see it as all part of the healing and detoxifying process. I don't know if it's 100% necessary and I'm sure the fact that I'm not taking in enough calories though the drinks has a lot to do with the sleepy factor but my body doesn't want maple syrup concoction, it wants long nap on the couch. I'm sure whether or not that's the best thing is highly debatable but hey, I'm doing the best I can to listen to my body and in this topsy turvy world, what else can we rely on?

MC Day 4

2008-09-24T20:04:00.001-07:00

D A Y F O U R

Last night I started to feel detox symptoms a little while at work but some deep breathing and you know, using the restroom while on break helped a lot. Nothing too major there. I had to get up and go to the bathroom a lot last night...ugh, irritating! Then I finally had to just get up at 6 am cuz the stomach pain was pretty bad and I was tired of getting up over and over. I took a two hour bath/nap in the tub and then got out at 8. I didn't feel too bad until about the last 5 minutes of this lecture thing I went to for my Chicano History class. I had to excuse myself for fear that I was going to maple syrup in my pants if you know what i mean, haha. Then I went home and took a 20 minute power nap before heading off to the accoustic school for my voice coaching and the farm to pick up my CSA basket (which my roommates will be enjoying this week). The stomach pain has pretty mild off and on throughout the day but nothing TOO terrible yet. I have been feeling pretty sleepy though. Well see how my 10 pm- 2 am shift goes tonight, geez. Thankfully my lovely roommate is coming to sit with me and keep me entertained while I work the desk. Thats it for now, 4 days down and 6 to go!

Socrates was one smart dude

2008-09-23T13:07:00.000-07:00

“All I know is that I know nothing”

Amen to that my friend! I swear, the more I try to educate myself, the more confused I am. Why does everything in raw foodism, nutrition and medicine have to conflict with eachother!?!?!?

The period issue for example. Here are two articles that say COMPLETELY opposite things about it.
One says no period = return to natural state of being the other says hormonal imbalance/lack of proper nutrients = no period = cancer.

Well crap! If those are my options I guess I'll take what's behind door number one please. Is that what choosing a health plan has come down to? Selecting the truths that are most convenient and tell us what we want to hear?? That's how it seems sometimes. I just wish that people would at least stop PRETENDING to have answers and acknowledge that we're all just trying to do the best we can to figure out the ideal way to eat/live/treat ourselves. We need to be able to listen to eachothers ideas without A. Blindly accepting them as truth OR B. Dismissing them because their inconvenient.

It's hard for me because I acknowledge my lack of background information in the medical field and accept that I'm not willing to devote my life to finding answers/cures/solutions for this problem. On the other hand, I have a hard time trusting modern medicine to do this research and find answers for me. So where am I left? For now, I choose to identify myself as a seeker of truth with the ability to accept that I will never find it absolutely. Rock on Socrates!

MC Day 2

2008-09-22T21:48:00.000-07:00

Two days of cleansing down, 8 to go! (Plus 4 of juice probably). So far nothing too bad as far as detox symptoms go. I'm sleepy but I'm not sure if that's real or just me taking advantage of this opprotunity to be a bum and catch some extra Zs.

Beans, beans the poisonous fruit.

2008-09-21T13:19:00.000-07:00

As I'm sure I've mentioned, I've been about 90% raw for the past 3 months since my last cleanse. The number of cooked things I've eaten has obviously been pretty minimal, some whole grain sprouted cereal here, lentil soup here etc etc. So last night, after my big salad, I decided to have a TIIINNNNY little bowl of boiled organic pinto beans that my roommate made with some of her delicious (raw) guacamole. Like I said in my blog last night, I had a bit of a tummy ache after eating them and finally went to sleep around 3 am feeling just slightly ill. I woke up around 7:30 this morning feeling a lot more than slightly ill. I was burping up that terrible acidy taste and when I went to the bathroom I got horrible chills and started vomiting all over the floor...mmm, cute. "Is my body becoming hyper sensitive to cooked foods?", I wondered. "Was it the acid that made me so sick?". Then I found this online:

Beans (legumes) cause gas because they contain a sugar, oligosaccharide, that the human body can not break down. Oligosaccharides are large molecules and are not broken down and absorbed by the lining of the small intestine as other sugars are. This is because the human body does not produce the enzyme that breaks down oligosaccharides.

Very interesting....hmmmm, no more beans for me. I guess when I was on the SAD, my body just wasn't as sensitive to these things because it was numbed with all the other processed junk? I also think I'm getting better at listening to my body and it's needs. I still have a long way to go though. As far as other cooked foods go, we'll see. I really want to start reading 80/10/10 while I'm cleansing and see if I can hop on that after the cleanse is over. The book is like 30 bucks though which I'm sure it's completely worth but at the moment I'm completely broke and living off credit cards and a loan from my roommate until my student loans are disbursed in mid October. I might just have to bite the bullet and get it now though. As for M. Cleanse day one...I've actually only had one glass of lemonade and didn't even start off the day with the lax tea today because of the abrupt way in which my day started plus some lovely other circumstances (our upstairs tub leaking through the roof in our garage). My roommate and I handled that and then I took a nice nap on our living room floor to compensate for the lack of sleep I got last night and on Friday. Tonight I'll definitely be taking the tea though and hopefully I'll feel better in the morning. My stomach is still a little queasy.

Feminine issues and the joys of modern medicine

2008-09-21T01:43:00.000-07:00

"The white pills aren't kind"

So, you ask, who are these ugly little guys? Well my friends, it's a long painful story all beginning back in high school when I had horribly messed up periods. I'll spare you the gory details but irregular doesn't even begin to describe the pain. And of course my uninformed teenage self decides that I NEED hormones to fix my body because that's what everyone else is doing and it's the "ONLY SOLUTION". So basically last summer I finally decided that I was though messing with my body. I got a little more info on the SIDE EFFECTS of these pills and wanted to go all naturale. Well, now it's been almost a year since my last period and my roommates reinforce what I already know and tell me I need to go get it figured out. So, partially to appease them, I go to the heath center and wow, shocker, they wanna put me on MORE hormones. Now, I've been brought up to trust (to some extent) modern medicine so even though I feel like I know better now, it is still very hard to go against something that a doctor is telling me I HAVE to do. "You need to menstruate at least once every 3 months or else the lining of your blah blah blah blah blah blah... cancer". The C word is something that I don't take lightly. I have a history of it in my family so getting it FREAKKKKS me out. I tried to explain the raw foods thing to her but obviously it fell on deaf ears. So here I am with my little bottle of ugly white pills which will continue to sit on my counter, unconsumed. They did blood work to try to figure out what's wrong with me so I'm kind of hoping that it's something clearly defined that I can just solve in my own way with raw foods. I know raw foodists don't usually get a period but my only concern is that they ended before raw began. We'll see though, hopefully I can get it all figured out.

ALSO, as previously mentioned, I have a strong inclination to believe that my stomach acid levels are ALLLL messed up. I've had loads of digestive problems as I've mentioned on numerous occasions. I thought these were directly linked to the binging (which in a way I'm sure they are) but I haven't BEEN binging and still I have SUPER bad stomach aches and am burping up nasty ass tasty acidy flavor (too much information for ya? haha). Okay so also as previously stated in other blogs, I'm TRYING to learn more about alkalizing and start eating as many alkaline foods as possible. Problem is, there's so many discrepancies with the alkaline VS acid forming list. Why can't people agree on this stuff??? It seems to me that the science of it would be pretty concede and there wouldn't be a lot of room for disagreement. Shows how little I know. I bought some little pH test papers so I'm gonna start testing myself and see how that goes. In the meantime I'll be handling the tummy aches as they come (IE- right effing NOW!) and trying to do the best I can. No toxic thoughts or energy though. We KNOW those are acid forming, no discrepancies there. DETOX starts tomorrow by the way. Twenty dollars with of lemons are juiced up in my fridge and revin' to go! :-))

Recipes, Plans & Count Down to Cleanse Time!

2008-09-18T03:22:00.000-07:00

First things first, here are two recipes for ya...

1. Hemp Pesto!

5 cups of basil
1 cup hemp oil
3 TBSP Hemp Seeds
1 TBSP garlic powered or one-two clove(s) of fresh pressed garlic (preferred)
1 TBSP Brewer's yeast (I used raw Parmesan from Eat in the Raw)
Celtic Salt to Taste

2. Easy Avo Dressing

1 avocado
2-3 TBSP lime juice
1 tomatillo
1 pressed garlic clove
Celtic salt to taste

Now onto some exciting things, I'm about to start Master Cleanse #2 on Sunday!!! I think I mentioned that in a recent post. One of my roommates is going to do it with me. The other one was but is a little worried because she already has a really stressful ahead of her and doesn't wanna add another thing. Anyways, I'm pretty excited to go on another cleanse. We'll see how my detox symptoms compare to last time, should be interesting. Right now I'm putting together a plan to use all of the fresh produce in my fridge without buying any more groceries in the next three days. Here's what I have in mind...

TOMORROW:

Breakie- Green Smoothie
Lunch- Shredded squash with tomatoes, sesame oil & spices
Dinner- Some Version of Garlicky Yummyliciousness . I'll try the REAL recipe when I have more of the ingredients in 2 weeks but for now it's gonna be more like eggplant with EVOO, salt, garlic & dried herbs. We'll see how it goes...

FRIDAY-

Breakie- Green Smoothie
Lunch- Gazpacho with avocado
Dinner- More Garlicky stuff??

SATURDAY-

Breakie- Another Green Smoothie :-))
Lunch-Squash noodles with some type of pesto that I can scrounge up, haha.
Dinner- Salad with whatever is left in my fridge, haha. Hopefully there's SOMETHIN' in there :-)

Okay, I'm officially tuckered out now. GOODNIGHT!!! :-)

A new way to look at the "slip-ups"

2008-09-15T14:27:00.000-07:00

As I've mentioned in previous blogs, my inclination to try to make a strict routine for myself has caused me to have a lot of "slip-ups". For years I had such an all or nothing attitude. I'd make a rule for myself (drink 8+ cups of water every day, go for a job every morning, make a green smoothie every day etc. etc.) and I'd keep to it for a while but eventually I'd forget one day and then the routine was completely ruined and I was so down on myself for "failing". Even going 100% was like that at first. I was 100% for 3 weeks then I binged like crazy at the end of it because I had been so restrictive. Now I'm finally starting to figure some things out about myself and my life. Some days I'm NOT going to be able to get up and make a green smoothie. Some days I won't have time to exercise and some days I won't be 100% raw. I want to look at those times as an opportunity to notice the differences my choices are making for my body. For example, if I'm exercising regularly and then one day don't have time time, I'll take that opportunity to notice the difference it makes. Am I more tired or hungry on days when I can't work out? Then it'll make me more motivated on those days when I can do the things that are best for me. It's just a way to turn the negative into a positive and not be so hard on myself.

Alllkallllliiiiizzzzzeee

2008-09-14T18:37:00.000-07:00

I'm learning more about alkaline foods and trying to alkalize my body. I'm learning about my own low levels of stomach acid. Just ordered some wheat grass powders and looked up some alkalizing foods. I found this chart on www.essense-of-life.com by just goodsearching it. Check it out and think about it...

...ALKALINE FOODS...		...ACIDIC FOODS...
ALKALIZING VEGETABLES Alfalfa Barley Grass Beets Beet Greens Broccoli Cabbage Carrot Cauliflower Celery Chard Greens Chlorella Collard Greens Cucumber Dandelions Dulce Edible Flowers Eggplant Fermented Veggies Garlic Green Beans Green Peas Kale Kohlrabi Lettuce Mushrooms Mustard Greens Nightshade Veggies Onions Parsnips (high glycemic) Peas Peppers Pumpkin Radishes Rutabaga Sea Veggies Spinach, green Spirulina Sprouts Sweet Potatoes Tomatoes Watercress Wheat Grass Wild Greens ALKALIZING ORIENTAL VEGETABLES Maitake Daikon Dandelion Root Shitake Kombu Reishi Nori Umeboshi Wakame ALKALIZING FRUITS Apple Apricot Avocado Banana (high glycemic) Berries Blackberries Cantaloupe Cherries Coconut, fresh Dates, dried Figs, dried Grapes Grapefruit Honeydew Melon Lemon Lime Nectarine Orange Peach Pear Pineapple Raisins Raspberries Rhubarb Strawberries Tangerine Tomato Tropical Fruits Umeboshi Plums Watermelon ALKALIZING PROTEIN Almonds Chestnuts ALKALIZING SWEETENERS Stevia ALKALIZING SPICES & SEASONINGS Cinnamon Curry Ginger Mustard Chili Pepper Sea Salt Miso Tamari All Herbs ALKALIZING OTHER Apple Cider Vinegar Bee Pollen Green Juices Although it might seem that citrus fruits would have an acidifying effect on the body, the citric acid they contain actually has an alkalinizing effect in the system.		ACIDIFYING VEGETABLES Corn Olives Winter Squash ACIDIFYING FRUITS Blueberries Cranberries Currants Plums Prunes ACIDIFYING GRAINS, GRAIN PRODUCTS Quinoa Spelt Wheat Wheat Germ ACIDIFYING BEANS & LEGUMES Chick Peas Green Peas Kidney Beans Almond Milk ACIDIFYING NUTS & BUTTERS Cashews Legumes Peanuts Peanut Butter Pecans Tahini Walnuts ACIDIFYING FATS & OILS Avacado Oil Corn Oil Hemp Seed Oil Flax Oil Olive Oil Sesame Oil Sunflower Oil ACIDIFYING SWEETENERS Carob

got (almond) milk?

2008-09-13T13:05:00.000-07:00

Chocolate Macadamia Nut Cookies

1 cup macadamia nuts
1 cup prunes
1 cup majool dates
1 TBSP coconut oil
1 TBSP - 1/4 cup cacao (depending on how choclatey you want them...they're gonna be good either way)

-Blend dates, cacao, prunes and 1/2 cup of nuts in food processor
-Cut the other 1/2 cup of macadamia nuts in half and throw them into the mixture
-Form the batter into little cookies (about 10)
-Massage cookies with coconut oil
-Refrigerate for at least a few hours

enjoy :)

Easy Gazpacho Recipe

2008-09-12T23:08:00.001-07:00

Gazpacho is a Spanish cold soup traditionally made with stale bread. My raw version was inspired by a Seafood Gazpacho recipe from www.worldshealthiestfoods.org

Ingredients: Tomatoes, tomatillos, cilantro, Italian pepper, bell pepper, cucumber, lemon juice, paprika, chili powder, garlic powder and celtic salt (in the amounts shown in the picture above)

Chop up the bell pepper, 1/2 the cucumber and about 1/2 of the tomatoes. Put aside a little bit of cilantro and few slices of the Italian pepper for garnish and blend the rest in a food processor.

Wah-Lah, super easy, refreshing & delicious raw gazpacho...enjoy!

8 Daily Essentials

2008-09-09T18:33:00.000-07:00

L u n c h F r o m H e a v e n . . .

...Not that I would recommend eating a chocolate bar for lunch every day but it can't be SO bad to indulge now and again, can it?

The past few days have been happy ones. I think I'm done with stress, I'm giving it up. Ok, so I might not ever be able to COMPLETELY give it up but though I might have some days that are more taxing than others, I don't want to loose sight of the joy in my life. I want to relinquish the things, people and activities that cause me more unhappiness than happiness. I want to simplify and purify my life. I want to ENJOY what I'm doing and not feel rushed and overwhelmed. If I'm busy I want to be busy doing things are care about and find worthwhile. I'm excited for my next cleanse (September 21st) and even more excited that BOTH of my roommates have decided to join me! They really are awesome.

Today I had a one hour break between classes so I decided to walk to the co-op where I bought some coconut water and the most AMMMAAAZZZZZZZiiiiNGGG raw chocolate bar. Sweet mother of god I think I just found my new weakness. ohhheemmmgeee, it was so decedant and satisfying. Then I loitered in our local bookstore for the rest of the hour where I bought a housewarming card for my momma to congratulate her on her new place in New Mexico. I also sat there and read some of Kris Carr's Crazy Sexy Cancer. Man oh man, I can't even say enough great things about that woman...what a story. Her book is beautiful and full of so much positive energy and tips that ANYONE...let me correct that, EVERYONE should read and incorporate into their lives. When I'm not so broke I think I might buy it.

After my daily commitments were over I hung out with my roommate on campus and we walked home together. Then I had some green tea with agave and a big salad with some new fancy greens, avocado and dressing I made last night. The dressing was tahini, garlic, sesame oil and juiced ginger. Damn, that stuff will k n o c k your socks off.

After this simple but lovely day here are 8 things that I've decided I want to make habit of:

Eight Things For Every Day

1. Leafy Greens
I don't want to set unrealistic goals about my greens intake but I definitely want to get some leafy greens in every day!

2. HTP-5

Ever since I heard about HTP-5 being able to help with binges I've been curious to see how effective it actually is. I'll never really find out unless I'm consistent though so I need to make a point of it.

3. Green Tea

I go back and forth on the caffeine debate but all in all I think the natural and minimal amount in green tea is a great way to kick start my energy and keep me feeling full. Plus, it's SO refreshing!

4. Water

They say most raw foodies don't really NEED to drink water since we get so much in the fruits and veggies we eat. Regardless, I like the way that water keeps me feeling satiated, especially if I want to stop eating late at night. Drinking water is a good alternative.

5. Walking

Walking is a great stress reliever and is just all around good for your body. I try to walk as much as possible. It's recommended that adults walk 10,000 steps a day (about 5 miles). Since there's a pedometer in my phone I keep an eye on it and achieve this minimum pretty much every day. I walk back and forth to school (about a mile) at least once a day Monday-Friday so that definitely helps. I want to start making it a goal to walk 10 miles a day though by adding an evening walk on as many nights as possible.

6. Music

Just seems like a given, really no explanation necessary. Music makes me happy :)

7. Sleep

I'm still waiting for the raw energy to enable me to survive and thrive on 2 hours of sleep a night. Right now that's not the reality and I need to allow myself the 6-8 hours that my body is asking for.

8. Laughter

Is the best medicine, take daily.

"Monkey, monkey, underpants..."

2008-09-07T18:49:00.000-07:00

"I guess what I be saying is there aint no better reason, to rid yourself of vanities and just go with the seasons..."

Beautiful song, beautiful video and as the icing on the cake...Jason's a raw foodie. I've liked his music since his first CD came out and just found out about his dabbles in raw foodism. Not that this makes me like his music any more or less but I do think it's pretty bad ass.

You should definitely check out his blog if you haven't do so. Click-ity click on his ammmazzziiinnng looking "chocomole" picture to do so. I'm SO making that BTW.

Next on the list of random thoughts in my head is...."ow". Apparently it takes longer than I thought for an immune system to build up and stop getting sick after going raw. I think I have a sinus infection. I feel all congested and plugged up and slept ALLLLLL day until 5:00 when I got up and got ready to go to work, where I currently sit.

Being sick puts me in such a biiitchy mood and eff, I hate it. I seriously DO NOT like fighting with people. It just seems like such a waste of time and energy and I honestly have a hard time being mad for more than 2 minutes, I kid you not. Even during those two minutes I KNOW it's a waste of time and energy cuz I'm just gonna get over it. If someone honestly betrays me to the point where I think I'm better off without in my life than that's another story but I just don't get the point in sweating the small stuff if you really love somebody. Anways, that's my little tirade about how much I hate being angry, haha. Ironic much? I think I got in my first "fight"(?) with my roommate last night and I must say I didn't quite care for it. We were both in a mood but whatev, she's still one of my favorite people in the world so I could really give a shit about one insignificant incident.

Moving on...found a new blog linked off Bueller's kitchen

COCO Y MANGO

A blog about raw in SPANISH???...i'm in love <3

yummieee.

2008-09-06T17:34:00.000-07:00

grated crook neck squash with diced tomatoes, a little bit of olive oil, celtic salt, paprika and chili powder.

Try it :)

UPDATE

2008-09-03T22:33:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I updated so here's what's up...

I'm in the middle of my second week of school. I have a lot of my plate (no pun intended) this semester. I'm only taking 12 units which is the lightest load I've had since I've been here (this will be my third year of college) but I'm also working 30 hours a week (between 5 jobs), volunteering 5 hours (boys and girls club and the local co-op) and trying to get back into doing voice coaching since singing has been something I've always loved but never really devoted sufficient attention to. I went home for labor day weekend and manged to eat 100% raw although not very organic. Still, it was definitely cool to know I could do it and "come out" as raw to my friends and family. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

Backtracking a little bit, last Thursday as part of my volunteer working membership with the co-op I helped work a really cool lecture called "The Health Robbers" which discussed the dangers of highly processed foods (DUH) and talked about what foods were best for you. The lecturer was Marsha Vernoga; a raw foodist which was pretty cool considering I've actually met very few others in person. Her lecture was very interesting but talking with her about her raw food journey was probably the best part of the evening. She was very sick and healed herself with raw foods. In sad news, the organic raw restaurant in my town had to close down. I guess it's just not the market for that sort of thing here. I feel bad for not supporting it more although I know I couldn't have single-handedly saved it. I did find out about Empire Coffee; a fair-trade organic coffee shop that's in an restored antique cable car by the greyhound station so I'll definitley be checking that out shortly.

That's all for now! :)

So that was a nice 2 days...

2008-08-19T23:01:00.002-07:00

I had a big green salad and two green smoothies on Friday but then after work I was pretty hungry still (a very unsatisfying smoothie that day) so I ate a ton of fruit. I probably had ten pieces (granted some were really small but still). Saturday I hit the nuts and fruit pretty hard and then again on Sunday, even worse.

I know it seems a little rash to say "hit the fruit and nuts" like it's hitting the bottle or something. Nuts and fruits are good for you though, right? Then why did I make myself so sick that I couldn't even go to work on Monday? I don't know if the terrible stomach pains were a DIRECT result of the binge over the two days preceding but I can't imagaine that the two were unrelated.

I don’t know how to measure my progress anymore. Am I 90% raw? Yes. Am I still a binge eater? Yes. Old habits die hard and I DO still have binges, although not as often. It’s harder for me to define a binge now than it use to be but binging on healthy food is still BINGING. It’s easy now that there aren’t any processed carbohydrates in the house but when my roommates move back who knows how it will be.

When I binge I feel full to the point of practically making myself still but somehow I’m still not satiated. In a discussion thread on GI2MR, we were discussing the fact that low levels of serotonin can cause binges. I had no idea. I’ve heard people say that a binge is caused by your body’s cravings for proper nutrition and that’s how raw can help to correct it. I ordered some 5 HTP to balance the serotonin and hopefully that will be a big help, we'll just have to see I guess.

I identify the following things as triggers for binges:

-Eating a large breakfast and then not eating for a long period of time.

- Improper hydration

- Stress

- Having certain things in my house…dates, dried fruit, nuts, seeds and sometimes shredded coconut.

- Not exercising in the morning

For now I'm going to stop buying the things above. I’ll be getting some spirulina and wheat germ for my protein intake and avos and oils for my fats. I know I’ve written that before in here but apparently I’m not such a quick study, haha. I’m also gonna keep my Kleen Kanteen filled all the time and drink a full one every day (40 oz). I’m also going to make it a point to work out every morning and then take some time to sit down and think about the day, do some stretches, breathing, meditating and thinking about my goals and priorities for the day. I also want to try to stop eating late at night. I hope I can obtain all of these resolutions. They seem easy enough but still might be too much for me to handle right now, ugh. I always make up challenges for myself like this one and always set myself up to fail by making things too restrictive. I can’t stay with a workout plan for more than 3 days, I swear. I need to just be more accepting of the fact that my goals are guidelines and it's okay if I don't do them all 100% all of the time. It's not all or nothing, just something to strive for and if I fall a little short, I'll still be helping myself and not giving myself an excuse to binge. Ok, that's it for now.

We’ll see how it plays out once school starts.

Green Goal Day Two

2008-08-15T00:08:00.000-07:00

Today's green smoothie was

6 cups of green tea
3 cups of parsley
1 cup of celery
1 cup of mango chunks
2 cups of banana slices
I had this for breakfast and dinner & it made me one happy camper, yum.

For lunch I had some pesto with squash pasta, tomatoes and pine nuts. The fresh herbs accounted for 25%+ greens part of my meal. It was deee-lish. Everyone in the break room was commenting on the amazing smell.

I guess I should mention a little something about the insanity that is my life as of late. Well, for the two weeks before school starts (one almost down and another to go) I'm working two jobs. I go to job #1 from 8 am- 4:30 pm Mon-Fri and then on the 5 or so days a week that I work job #2, I go straight from job #1 and work at 5:00...craziness. Then I get home, prep all of the food for the next day, check GI2MR, facebook, myspace, e-mail ect and crash out. I have been sleeping way less than the 8 hours a night that I soaked up almost every other night this summer. I always hear raw foodies saying that they only sleep 4 hours a night or something like that which sounds AMAZINNNG but I've never been able to pull it off. I'm not exactly sure how to go about it. I've gotten in a habit since starting college of pretty much always setting an alarm even if there's nothing especially pressing about getting up. So now I wonder if I should drop the alarm and see when my body wakes up naturally and that's how many hours of sleep I am suppose to be getting? How do you know what your body needs exactly? Sometimes you're tired and know your body needs rest but you can't fall sleep for one reason or another. I've been getting 6 hours for the past few nights (4 one night) and haven't had any major energy crashes or anything. My thoughts have been very clear (which they generally are NOT when I'm sleep deprived). I could attribute this to the ammount of greens I've had in the past few days and/or the fact that I've been working out at least a little each morning, I think that really helps my energy levels. I do get lulls in my energy during certain times of the day. When I get off work I always have all kinds of energy though so I'm thinking maybe it's not the lack of sleep but rather the lack of excitement in my life right now. haha. It's okay though, only a week left then my awesome roomies move back, school starts and I have a life again. Whooo-hooo!

Gimme Greens!

2008-08-13T18:52:00.000-07:00

I read Victoria Boutenko's book Green For Life a while ago but like many lessons in life, it took some time for me to REALLY learn the importance of eating a diet that's rich in dark leafy greens. Boutenko points out that chimpanzees (our closest cousin in the animal kingdom) eat about 40% greens! Well, maybe I'm going bananas but I'm aiming to do the same. I'm doing a go green experiment in which I will eat 2 meals a day that are 50% greens and 1 meal that's at least 25% greens. Here's how day one went down ....

Breakfast & Lunch were each a quart of green smoothie made up of

1 banana
1 apple
1/2 a cup of mango
2 cups of green tea
2 1/2 cups of spinach
about a tsp of MSM

Dinner was a huuugggee taco salad which included

1/4 cup sunflower seed "taco meat" with taco seasonings (cumin, paprika, chili powder, onion powder & fresh pressed garlic) and 2 TBSP EVOO, 1 TBSP of flax seeds, tomatoes*, peppers*, cilantro, sprinkle of Lemon Juice & Celtic Salt.

* from my GRUB box

Had I had it them on hand I would have added: avocado, romaine lettuce and bell peppers to use as taco shells instead of eating it out of a bowl but it was seriously still so good! The seasonings were perfect (see list mania blog for a link to the Mexican food site where I got the recipe. Note: I used one clove of fresh garlic instead of powder).

Clicky Click Click

2008-08-12T19:37:00.000-07:00

You may have noticed my new "Worth Clicking" list. In case you weren't convinced, here's why these links are very click worthy...

e n j o y

American Apparel : Cute clothes, respectable business practices & a new line of organic gear. Did I mention a 15% student discount? That's right, stay in school kids.
April's Uncooked Blog : Funny lady, ammmmazzzziiinnng looking raw desserts *drool*
Give It To Me Raw : Lively discussion of all things raw. Share your story, get guidance, make some friends :)
Good Search
: Just like google only every time you search, sponsors donate a penny to your charity of choice.
Kristen's Raw Blog : Cute recipes, eco-friendly beauty advice & more.
One Lucky Duck: Shop, read and be happy.
Raw Faith's Blog: Another great blog that I follow
The Greater Good Store
: Fair trade and organic items. Sponsors donate cups of food to hungry families all over the world. No purchase necessary, you can make a difference by just clicking their Click to Give button.
The Resident : New countercultural videos every week.
World's Heathiest Foods :Not a raw food site but it does have lots of good info on fruits and veggies. The book is a great resource too. I love it!

PART 2: Ignorance Is Bliss...

2008-08-11T22:54:00.000-07:00

Ok, this is kind of a two-part blog rambling on from my last post but going in a slightly different direction. I had too much to say about this topic and evidently not enough juice left in me to go on the other night. It's been quite a long day as I worked both of my jobs and I've gotta get up pretty early tomorrow so I'll keep this one short and just hope that it's coherent enough to follow.

American's are always being viewed by the rest of the world as stupid or more accurately, ignorant; specifically about world issues. Not to use my nationality as an excuse but I'll admit it, I am fairly ignorant about the history and politics of other countries too. To be honest, I'm not that educated on history and politics of MY OWN country either. Now that I am doing more and more research about things, it's becoming a little overwhelming. There are so many things I feel need to be changed in the way we live our daily lives that it's often hard to know where to begin. I've never really considered myself a radical or extremest person so it's hard for me to imagine relinquishing mainstream American culture altogether.
So, how do we make informed decisions without getting overwhelmed and taking the EXTREME approach? I need baby steps here people.

I guess my basic question is, if "Knowledge is Power" but "Ignorance is Bliss", can we be INFORMED and not DEPRESSED?

PART 1: Knowledge is Power

2008-08-08T21:08:00.000-07:00

Let me start off by saying that I recently watched the trailer for
The Story of Stuff with Annie Leonard. If you haven't seen it yet, please click and watch before reading on. Now I can't help but look around my house and see the blood, sweat and tears of the overworked, underpaid (if paid at all) workers who slaved to make these poorly crafted items for pennies, the chemicals put out by the machines that made them and the greedy corporations sitting back and getting rich off of it all.

Of course, this information isn't coming out of the clear blue sky or anything. In this country we are getting completely use to seeing "Made In China" on everything we buy. But when did we learn to accept it without question? How can the most powerful country on earth thrive when the vast majority of the things in the typical American home are made in the third world. How are we allowing this to happen? We keep consuming more and more and more and WHY???

I wish I could say I was above it but alas, I am not. I'll admit it, I like to shop. No, I wouldn't consider it one of my favorite activities and I wouldn't refer to myself as a "shop-a-holic" or anything along those lines but do I spend money that I don't need to? Yes. Do I buy things that are made in other countries, probably under horrible work conditions? Sadly, I must say yes to that as well. How then do I remove myself from this vicious cycle without doing something TOO drastic? Don't get me wrong, I admire those who can just give up civilization and live a completely natural lifestyle with no ecological footprint but I don't think I'm ready to give up on society just yet. What to do, what to do?

Lista Mania

2008-08-05T21:36:00.000-07:00

Every so often (okay, quite frequently actually) I get a random idea in my head on how to make a raw variation of some type of SAD food. Then I start doing research and experimenting with different recipes. I call these my "projects". Here's what's in the works:

- The Hummus Project -

This one isn't really my own invention, I use the "Real Hummus" recipe from goneraw.com (the link is posted in one of my blog entries) and just do my own variations like add tomato & cayenne or Italian spices (You can see pictures of this further down in my blog). The main breakthrough with this recipe was adding a little bit less olive oil (1/2 - 3/4 cup instead of a whole cup) for the purpose of cutting down a little bit of the fat and thus being able to eat more of this amazing recipe and adding CUMIN!!! It makes such a difference. I'm guessing the author of the recipe omited herbs and spices becuase they might not be raw but the way I see it, they aren't hurting anything. They are low in calories and therefore, if you season your food with herbs and spices, the percentage of your daily calories coming from cooked foods is still pretty insignifigant. They add so much flavor and by using organic you're not consuming pesticides or anything so I say, why not. Okay, that was kind of a tangent...anyways, I'm going to keep slightly tweaking this recipe until I find it to be perfect. :-)

- The Pasta Project -

I've used a bunch of different sauces for my summer squash noodles but haven't found the PERFECT combination quite yet. I like there to be something crunchy in there to add a little texture along with some big juicy chunks to make the dish more interesting. The hemp pesto with tomatoes was pretty good but needed that crunch, I think I'll add a few TBSP of pine nuts next time around.

- The Taco Project -

This is the newest project of them all. I've only semi-attempted them once but I'm ready for a second try. The basic concept goes as follows:
Soaked sunflower nutmeats dried out and seasoned with taco seasonsings (found this recipe on a mex-recipes.com), salsa cruda, romaine lettuce and avocado inside a bell pepper taco shell. I know that green bell peppers are unripe but I wonder if they're bad for you... It just seems like the taco shell would be better if it wasn't sweet.

- The Stir Fry Project -

The idea for this one comes from marinating veggies in nama shoyu and sesame seed oil. I've never been a BIG fan of soy sauce so I think I need to find a way to incorporate more raw veggies and then mix in the marinated ones along with maybe some raw cashews.

- The Pie Project -

I'm working on developing the perfect crust. Bellow is a picture of one that I've tried. I make them in mini form since it's still very experimental (and I don't want to eat an entire pie by myself). I like how the coconut oil holds the crust together once refrigerated but I also feel like it might taste a little too waxy.

Strawberry Short Pie

Sliced strawberries mixed with Happy Day Raw Vegan Vanilla Mousse in a
wheat germ, shredded coconut, coconut oil and ground flax seed pie crust

In Other Lists...

Here's an update from my beauty blog. Turns out I might not be quite ready to abandon my beauty products after all....

FACE:

-Honey- 30 minute facial mask
I actually use to do this all of the time anyways but now I only do it about once a week. It makes my skin super smooth though. I'll definitely continue to do it more and more regularly when school starts and I start to get into a routine of some kind. I also sometimes put a dot of honey over a blemish before I go to bed with a band-aid over it and in the morning, wah-lah, it's vanished (or at least a lot better).

- Poppy Seeds- for exfoliating
Hm...I'm actually still doing this but I'm not sure how well it's working to be honest. I'll tell you what though, there's nothing like finding a poppy seed stuck to your neck later on during the day...

-Avocado slices- 30 minute under-eye treatment
This is another one where I can't really tell if it made a difference or not. I've only tried it once though. Too be honest, I'd rather eat an avocado than put it on my face. I don't really have dark circles anymore anyways...thank you sleeep!
-Shea Butter- moisturizer
I don't use moisturizer very often simply because my skin is pretty self-sufficient so to speak. I don't have to use much to keep it clean so it doesn't get dried out very often. I do keep this on hand and use it when my face needs an extra little bit of help.
-Aloe- After-sun treatment
I don't really put anything on my face after sun since my make-up has SPF in it and I put that on before I go out and there's no need to mess it all up.
-Coconut Oil- eye make-up remover
If I remove my make-up at all I use this...
-Baking Soda- toothpaste
mmm...I tried this for a few weeks but then I just couldn't hack it. I need to find a healthier alternative that more resembles what I'm use to sadly. After this tube of (probably toxic) toothpaste is done I'll definitely be trying something more natural.

BODY:

-Coconut Oil- as shaving cream, soap & moisturizer
Always!
- Aloe- after sun
I will still continue to do this. I try to every time I lay out but sometimes forget.
-Shea Butter- moisturizer for dryer skin (elbows & bottoms of feet)
Neither of those places seem to be super dry since I just slather myself with coconut oil in the bathtub while I'm greasing up my legs for shaving. It works very nicely an doesn't leave you with that oily feeling that it would if you were to use it as a lotion after showing.
-Lemon Juice- deodorant
I never actually went through with this. I was using coconut oil for a while but it felt weird so I changed to an all natural deodorant which I'm beginning to have my doubts about... the search continues.

HAIR:

-Apple Cider Vinegar- cleansing wash
- Apple Sauce- conditioner
I'll just lump these two into one and say that I tried the "no-poo" method for 3 weeks and my hair was SOOOOO oily and disgusting that I reverted back to my old ways. Again, I'm ready for an all-natural alternative that looks and feels like shampoo and doesn't make my hair transform into a greasy, knotted mess. I'll be refering to Kristin's blog when my old bottles are done and I'm ready for a healthy upgrade.

-Lemon Juice- to lighten it.
The jury's still out on this one. I've been using it but can't tell if my hair is getting any lighter. I'm giving it 20 days until school starts then I'm going back to highlights...
-Mashed Avocado and Honey- deep conditioner
I'll get back to you on this one as I haven't actually tried it yet...I plan too though. Like I said, it's just so hard not to EAT the avos, hee hee.

Twisted Monkey Smoothie
2 cups pineapple green tea - 2 cups banana slices - 2 cups spinach
& a twist of lemon
So simple a monkey could do it.

More Strawberries...
This one is just simple layers of sliced strawberries, wheat germ and Happy Day Raw Vegan Vanilla Mouse.

Salsa Mountain
I was randomly inspired to chop up a bunch of salsa at about 2 am this morning which I then ate today...
No, I'm not weird, not at all.

Sunny-side Gazpacho

OK, I'll admit, I had never actually eaten gazpcho or looked at a recipe, only seen the stuff. So this is my interpretation. It's actually more like a soupy salsa which I then added sunflower seeds and cayene pepper too...still, it was amazing.

Sprouted Tabouleh
I took the recipe from George Mateljan's book and replaced the bulgar with sprouted quinoa.
Next time I'm adding garbanzo beans.

Okay, now just ONE more list, I promise....

.: RAW Blogs I'm currently reading

1. RawFaith

2. Go Green Go : April's Uncooked

3. Kristen's Raw

All 3 are amazzzing and I'm always looking for more so if you know of something I don't, please clue me in. That's all for now.

NnnnIIIIiiiiGGGGGgggHHHHHhhhhTTTtttT!!!!

Is Raw Foodism an Eating Disorder?!?!

2008-08-04T11:54:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot about what the ULTIMATE raw diet is made up of. Going by the FDA daily recommended amounts of fat and protein it appears that you could eat almost A CUP of nuts or seeds (assuming that's your only source of fat and protein) but many raw foodists agree that you need a significantly smaller amount of protein and fat in your diet. Furthermore, that am mount of nuts and seeds would be pretty hard to digest. Some people swear by the 80/10/10 method or fruititarianism but I am apprehensive about having a diet that is comprised of SO much sugar. Anywyas, I've been doing a little research and ran accross this article which discusses the pros and cons of fruitarianism. What I did not expect to find was some interesting observations regarding the links between obsessive food behaviors found in people with eating disorders and obsessive food behavoris displayed by raw foodists.
"Fruitarians often display food-obsessive behavior. Take two pieces of bread, give one to an anoretic [an individual suffering from anorexia nervosa; see note (2) at end], and another to a fruitarian. The anoretic thinks, "I can't eat this bread, it will make me fat!". The fruitarian may think in a similar matter: "I can't eat this bread!" - with the reason(s) cited being one or more of the following delusions:*The bread is cooked, hence toxic.*The bread will produce mucus, which is the cause of all disease, and hence will make me "impure."*The bread contains protein (and/or starch), and all protein/starch is toxic and a horror.Here the point is the obsessive attitude toward food and the pathological fear, that are common to both the anoretic and the fruitarian.#On fruitarian diets, it is very easy to overeat and to fall into the nasty trap of sugar addiction. Sugar is well known for its ability to promote food cravings, which often leads to binge eating and/or overeating."

As someone who has both suffered from eating disorders in the past AND is now a raw foodist I wondered where this left me. I mulled over the idea for a while thinking that maybe become a raw foodist ISN'T the healthiest way to heal food obsession as it does require you to think about food quite a bit. Then I thought about one of my favorite quotes "Don't let food be your comfort or you enemy". Just then it hit me, I don't look at cooked food and think of it as an enemy. I don't think that eating it will make me inpure, sick or diseased. I simply see that the nutritional benefits are sorely lacking and that my body would be better served by eating something delicious and raw instead. I think that's a very healthy way of thinking about things. In mondern life we have very twisted ideas about food and nutrition. Who can even really understand how to define an eating disorder anymore?? I want to be very intentional with the fuel I put into my body. I don't want to become obsessive, just mindful.

Holy Mother of Internet Connections

2008-08-03T14:13:00.000-07:00

I'm baaaaacccckkk. The wifi in my new house is finally up, thank god. So, you may ask, WHAT has been cooking (so to speak) in my raw kitchen?? Let me hit you with an update...

Nanner-nut mash

Beautiful Blueberries Stuffed Peppers Super-Star Salad

Zucchini pasta with tomatoes and hemp pestoHummus Recipe from goneraw.com

Above hummus recipe with Italian herbs & served with spinach leaves

Spicy tomato hummus (with cayenne)
Another variation of the "Real Hummus" recipe

Simple Watermelon Pops

Sliced strawberries rolled in wheatgerm and ground flax seeds

Homemade almond milk

Strawberry cereal with almond milk

Marinating Veggies in Nama Shoyu and Sesame Oil

Raw "Stir-fry"

The early stages of Basil Tomato Sauce

Big Squash = Big "Noodles"
Remember that.

Told you...

The finish product wasn't as pretty as anticipated but it was yummmm-ay

Wrapping up some sprout sushi

Blah blah blog

2008-07-01T13:17:00.000-07:00

Lately I have a lot of spare time on my hands which has given me plenty of time to think. Therefore, I'm completely over analyzing things again. I've almost completed a week on the cleanse and though that feels great, I'm also having some mixed emotions. For one thing, this fast has caused me to loose a little bit of weight which is pushing me back into the "when I loose X amount of pounds..." mindset. I don't currently have my scale in my house to prevent me from weighing myself and obsessing about my weight but there's still this urge to weigh myself and see how much I've lost, ugh. I've been avoiding the scale for exactly this reason but then I just snapped and weighed myself. I didn't weigh myself at the beginning of the fast and since this time I weighed myself mid-day and with clothes on, the read's not completely accurate but I'm still down about 12 pounds from the last time I weighed myself...don't remember exactly when that was. Is this healthy? Is it okay to weigh myself every once in a while or should I just avoid scales for the rest of my life to stop from getting into the toxic state of thinking? UGHHHh...this is what too much time alone does to you I think. I just get so intense and wrapped up in my own little world sometimes. I just need to take a chill pill and do something fun with my friends. I've been stressing myself out a lot lately because of all this plus money issues so I definitely find that to be a contributing factor. Anyways...that's all for now. I'll post the day-by-day entries I've been taking since I started the cleanse later.

No Internet = No Blogging

2008-06-13T13:28:00.000-07:00

I moved into my new place a few weeks ago and our WiFi is broke so that's why I haven't posted in a while. Here's what's new...

I've started No-Pooing which is actually going pretty well. They say your hair is greasy for the first 2 weeks and then gets better but I haven't noticed too big of a change yet. The apple sauce does leave little chunks in your hair until it dries which is kinda gross. Other than that, so far so good.

Tomorrow starts the MASTER CLEANSE...we'll see how it goes but I'm very excited. Wish I could blog as I go but it might not happen considering I don't know when my internet will be fixed. Maybe I'll just type out some entries to be posted at a later date.

I've been experimenting with raw pasta and have come up with an AMMMAAZZZINNG recipe to be posted later. (including pictures). Okay, well I think that's just about it for now.

PS. Isn't this picture trippy? It's really old, like maybe 4 years but I like it :)

Raw Beauty

2008-06-12T23:43:00.000-07:00

As part of my master cleanse (starting on the 25th) I want to start using simple natural, organic products as well and get those chemicals off my body too. It's more of an experiment than anything. Makeup is going to be the hardest part. Right now I'm using Bare Minerals but I'm thinking about making the switch to Ever day Minerals which is essentially the same thing but just organic. Other than that, here's what I have in mind...

FACE:

-Honey- 30 minute facial mask
- Poppy Seeds- for exfoliating
-Avocado slices- 30 minute under-eye treatment
-Shea Butter- moisturizer
-Aloe- After-sun treatment
-Coconut Oil- eye make-up remover
-Baking Soda- toothpaste

BODY:

-Coconut Oil- as shaving cream & moisturizer
- Aloe- after sun
-Shea Butter- moisturizer for dryer skin (elbows & bottoms of feet)
-Lemon Juice- deodorant

HAIR:

-Apple Cider Vinegar- cleansing wash
- Apple Sauce- conditioner
-Lemon Juice- to lighten it
-Mashed Avocado and Honey- deep conditioner

We'll see how it goes! Can't wait :)

"If you were a seed, well I'd be a pod."

2008-06-12T17:27:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was kind of a Debbie Downer blog...not at all untruthful but still. I consider myself a generally positive person and I just hate going to that negative place. I guess it's good though, to process the feelings and whatnot. That post really made me question whether or not I'll be able to share this blog with my friends and family. Maybe there are things they don't need to hear...

Anyways, today I'm pretty freaking excited because A. I move into my new place tomorrow, whooo hoo! Not that sleeping on Mel's floor for 2 weeks wasn't great and all but it's going to be nice to have a CLOSET instead of living out of a pile on the floor and my own kitchen for putting together tasty raw things, yummmies. Nonetheless, I give it about a week till I get lonely and bored and want my little cushion bed on the floor back. Maybe she can come sleep on my floor instead.

B. I have an interview/meeting thing with The Boys & Girls Club on Tuesday which I'm suuuuupppper excited about. It really just seems like an amazing organization, such good experience for what I want to do. I think I'd really enjoy it. Ultimately I'd like to work with the little ones since I want to teach elementary school but teenagers are cool too. Whatever they offer me, I'll take it.

I've been super hungry today which is weird because I haven't been lately. I think it's because I've been jogging in the morning and this morning I didn't. Today I've eaten an ENTIRE cantaloupe (throughout the course of the day, not in one sitting...but still), a smoothie (1/2 a banana, handful of strawberries and some raw wheat germ), a little more wheat germ (a few spoonfuls straight in my mouth and then some mixed up with the cantaloupe slices) and a little arugula, tomato & cucumber salad. Damn...haha, I'm eating myself out of house & home. Ironic since I don't even have a house/home until our lease starts tomorrow at 2. Too bad raw organics are so expensive and I don't have a job. I don't think I can do this for much longer, hopefully B&GC works out. *crosses fingers*

Okay, off to farmers market now :)

PS. I'm listening to the JUNO soundtrack, thus the title of this blog

"The Science of Selling Yourself Short"

2008-06-11T10:17:00.000-07:00

So I've been thinking about some of the effects that these years of food and body obsession have had on my life. I've let it limit me for so long and sold myself short in many, many ways. Being so self-conscious and self-loathing has definitely affected my ability to create and maintain relationships. It’s caused anxiety, obsession and caused me to settle for far less than I deserve.

I'm constantly comparing myself to other people in terms of who’s fatter. It disgusts me even to admit to that but it's true, even with my closest friends and family. It's sick. I'm even debating right now if I actually want to admit to that in an open forum but at this point I think I really just need to be 100% honest and open with these thoughts and feelings. It's not any easy thing for me to do since I've been keeping so much of this stuff in for such a long time. This isn't who I want to be.

For the past four years I've essentially been living in a transitional period. “When I loose the weight I’m going to…” But what was I really expecting to be at the end of those ellipses? I’m going to be comfortable with myself? I’m going to start living my life? I’m going to be happy? I don’t know if I’m alone here but it seems to me I’m not. The more conscious I become of how out of whack my own thinking was (/is?), the more I notice that same imbalance in others. Not in a judgmental way, but in an “I’ve been there and I want to help you” kind of way. I want to open up discussion about eating disorders and body image, to help people on the outside understand their loved ones who have suffered and struggled with these issues. I want to help other ED survivors understand themselves. Hell, I want to understand MYself.

I know I need to talk about this stuff in depth with someone. I need to “come out” to my friends and family but that idea still really scares me. First of all, I don’t even know how to bring it up. Secondly, I definitely don’t fit the stereotype of someone with an eating disorder. Not sure if that even makes sense but somehow in my head it does. Like I don’t have the right to claim an eating disorder because I’m not thin enough??? I don’t know. I don’t want them to worry about me, to pay attention to what I eat, to talk about me behind my back, to feel alienated from me, confused by me or think I’m crazy. I think that just about covers it. I don’t know, I just don’t know.

Groceries & Smoothies

2008-06-10T14:31:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture of all the wonderful things I got at Chico Natural Foods yesterday. The bad news is, they're not hiring :( but it's always fun to shop there so I still left happy. So far today I've already made two amazing smoothies. The first is a simple blend of spinach and bananas which is a recipe from Green For Life. The second was a mix of 9 little apriums, 1 banana, a tsp of MSM and some agave. Both were super refreshing and satisfying.

Cheers to Ten Fingers!
I didn't use finger bananas this time but that's where this recipe got it's name.

Te presento Aprium-nanna Smoothie

Not Pictured: 2 bananas, 11 oz of coconut water & a heaping, lovin' spoonful of cacao

(To be eaten for dinner)

In other news, I'm planning to start a master cleanse on June 25th which I'm very excited about. There is another member of Give It To Me Raw who wants to start the cleanse on the same day so it will be good to have someone to share the experience with. I believe it's her first time too.

I've been looking at a lot of raw recipes and I want to try so many new things including hummus, chocolate mousse, ice-cream and a sandwich with Love Force bread (which I've yet to try), some type of nut butter, bananas and honey. That would be a take on one of my favorite cooked foods...yum.

After reading Raw Faith's Blog I've been thinking about the idea of "heavy raw foods". When I first started exploring raw foodism just over 6 months ago, my raw diet was very heavy in nuts and seeds. Now I feel like that just weighs me down. I also have a tendency to binge on these dense foods. I'd prefer to fill my diet with light, refreshing, satisfying foods and pretty much cut out nuts and seeds for the most part. I will still throw them in a recipe ocasionally but don't want to make them a focus. I still need my fats and proteins but oils are a good source of fats and I will look into more protein sources. Of course dark leafy greens are great but I need something more concentrated...maybe spirulina.

Daily Raw Inspiration

2008-06-09T13:24:00.000-07:00

I subscribe to thegardendiet.com's daily raw inspiration and today's e-mail had what I think is an especially important message. Thought I would share...

"Learning to think positively involves learning to discipline our thoughts. And when we learn to discipline our thoughts, we are not only able to think positively, but we are also able to eat positively! If you can identify a negative thought when it happens, and dismiss it, you are disciplining your mind. We dismiss thoughts all the time unconsciously, - any thought that doesn't make sense. But we can also consciously dismiss thoughts that don't make sense to think because they destroy our mental harmony. And when we develop that habit, we can also dismiss thoughts about eating bad foods. It all starts with the thought! For more details see http://dailyraw.blogspot.com"

Some Fun Raw Products

2008-06-09T11:00:00.001-07:00

Though I do try to base my diet on simple, fresh, local, raw, organic food, every once in a while I like to spice things up by buying a raw novelty item. Here are some of my favs:

I've tried many flavors of Larabar but so far this one is the best. Pecan pie use to be one of my favorite desserts and now I have a quick and easy raw replacement!

Love Force makes a line of raw bars & breads. This is the only one I've tried so far and it's so amazing that I just keep buying it and can't bring myself to try another flavor.

Lydia's Berry Good cereal is a great transitional food. You can put it in a bowl with some fresh fruit, bee pollen, shredded coconut or whatever you like then pour some almond milk over the top and it's just like a traditional bowl of cereal (only better and better for you). I don't eat it that often anymore simply because I prefer a lighter breakfast and it's kind of an expensive habit on the college budget but I would definitely recommend it. I've also tried the cinnamon flavor which is okay but not quite as good as this flavor.

I can't quite remember the brand that makes my last two favorites but I will update this when I go to the health food store next.

The first is a brand of raw flax seed crackers. They have the perfect hickory flavorings and I just can't get enough. My roommates and friends who've tried them didn't quite get the same kick as I did so I don't know why I love them so much but I definitely do!

The last is a raw chocolate mousse. I hope to make my own soon but until then this pretty much hits the chocolate craving right over the head. It's great frozen or served with strawberries....yummy!

Okay, now that I'm officially hungry...time to do some grocery shopping :)

Introduction

2008-06-08T22:38:00.000-07:00

Hello there, my name is Alicia. I'm a Californian (born and raised), third year college student, future teacher, sister, singer, so-called "hippie chick", friend, daughter, and aunt of 4 beautiful little ones. I'm also a recovering food addict and eating disorder survivor. I hate to define myself that way but that’s basically what this blog is about. I’m trying to recover from a frightening relationship with food that has lasted over 4 years. It started with a diet and when I started cutting too many calories I became physically and emotionally drained. Finally depriving my body led me to binge on highly processed carbohydrates. The guilt brought me to purging. This phase lasted just a few months, until the end of my junior year of hs. I knew I had to snap out of that vicious cycle but could never quite stop binging. I quickly gained back the 30 or so lbs I had lost with my unhealthy method of calorie restriction and have gained about 15 pounds since then. Eating a 100% raw diet is the only way I’ve ever felt at peace with my body and with food. However, for some reason I haven’t been able to commit to this way of eating and occasionally do have an episode of binge eating. I’m still roughly 30 lbs overweight but loosing the extra pounds is not my main focus. My goal is to find health and peace with food. I know that if I find that, my body will find its ideal shape. I will be blogging through my journey to track my progress. I hope to eventually show this blog to my friends and family because they don’t understand raw foodism and don’t know about my history with ED. I’m just trying to get things figured out, I’m still a work in progress.