Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Blah blah blog

Lately I have a lot of spare time on my hands which has given me plenty of time to think. Therefore, I'm completely over analyzing things again. I've almost completed a week on the cleanse and though that feels great, I'm also having some mixed emotions. For one thing, this fast has caused me to loose a little bit of weight which is pushing me back into the "when I loose X amount of pounds..." mindset. I don't currently have my scale in my house to prevent me from weighing myself and obsessing about my weight but there's still this urge to weigh myself and see how much I've lost, ugh. I've been avoiding the scale for exactly this reason but then I just snapped and weighed myself. I didn't weigh myself at the beginning of the fast and since this time I weighed myself mid-day and with clothes on, the read's not completely accurate but I'm still down about 12 pounds from the last time I weighed myself...don't remember exactly when that was. Is this healthy? Is it okay to weigh myself every once in a while or should I just avoid scales for the rest of my life to stop from getting into the toxic state of thinking? UGHHHh...this is what too much time alone does to you I think. I just get so intense and wrapped up in my own little world sometimes. I just need to take a chill pill and do something fun with my friends. I've been stressing myself out a lot lately because of all this plus money issues so I definitely find that to be a contributing factor. Anyways...that's all for now. I'll post the day-by-day entries I've been taking since I started the cleanse later.