So that was a nice 2 days...

I had a big green salad and two green smoothies on Friday but then after work I was pretty hungry still (a very unsatisfying smoothie that day) so I ate a ton of fruit. I probably had ten pieces (granted some were really small but still). Saturday I hit the nuts and fruit pretty hard and then again on Sunday, even worse.

I know it seems a little rash to say "hit the fruit and nuts" like it's hitting the bottle or something. Nuts and fruits are good for you though, right? Then why did I make myself so sick that I couldn't even go to work on Monday? I don't know if the terrible stomach pains were a DIRECT result of the binge over the two days preceding but I can't imagaine that the two were unrelated.

I don’t know how to measure my progress anymore. Am I 90% raw? Yes. Am I still a binge eater? Yes. Old habits die hard and I DO still have binges, although not as often. It’s harder for me to define a binge now than it use to be but binging on healthy food is still BINGING. It’s easy now that there aren’t any processed carbohydrates in the house but when my roommates move back who knows how it will be.

When I binge I feel full to the point of practically making myself still but somehow I’m still not satiated. In a discussion thread on GI2MR, we were discussing the fact that low levels of serotonin can cause binges. I had no idea. I’ve heard people say that a binge is caused by your body’s cravings for proper nutrition and that’s how raw can help to correct it. I ordered some 5 HTP to balance the serotonin and hopefully that will be a big help, we'll just have to see I guess.

I identify the following things as triggers for binges:

-Eating a large breakfast and then not eating for a long period of time.

- Improper hydration

- Stress

- Having certain things in my house…dates, dried fruit, nuts, seeds and sometimes shredded coconut.

- Not exercising in the morning

For now I'm going to stop buying the things above. I’ll be getting some spirulina and wheat germ for my protein intake and avos and oils for my fats. I know I’ve written that before in here but apparently I’m not such a quick study, haha. I’m also gonna keep my Kleen Kanteen filled all the time and drink a full one every day (40 oz). I’m also going to make it a point to work out every morning and then take some time to sit down and think about the day, do some stretches, breathing, meditating and thinking about my goals and priorities for the day. I also want to try to stop eating late at night. I hope I can obtain all of these resolutions. They seem easy enough but still might be too much for me to handle right now, ugh. I always make up challenges for myself like this one and always set myself up to fail by making things too restrictive. I can’t stay with a workout plan for more than 3 days, I swear. I need to just be more accepting of the fact that my goals are guidelines and it's okay if I don't do them all 100% all of the time. It's not all or nothing, just something to strive for and if I fall a little short, I'll still be helping myself and not giving myself an excuse to binge. Ok, that's it for now.

We’ll see how it plays out once school starts.