BED returns with a vengence

I've been binging on highly processed carbs for the past 3 days like I haven't in MOOONNNNTTTTHHHSSSS. I think my cycle is that I restrict myself too much (811), put too much emphasis on diet and take the fun out of it. Then the stress that comes with obsessing over it causes me to binge. I've been eating a lot more highly processed foods since my second cleanse which is ironic since my first one helped me so much. Why is the second one hurting me????? It's such a horrible feeling to feel so out of control. I think I want to do a little mini cleanse for the next 3 days with some very alkalizing foods. I'm sure my stomach acid levels are having a fit right now. I just need some fasting time to reflect on my priorities and start respecting my body again Here's an excerpt about Emotional Eating by Dr. G

"One of the primary ways we handle painful emotional is to literally 'eat ourselves numb,' with dense, hard-t0-digest foods-the so-called 'comfort foods.' This is effective because of the nature of our nervous system. Our bodes have a finite amount of nerve energy at any given time. The digestion of food and the conduction of emotions each demand so much energy that they cannot be performed simultaneously.

A classic example to demonstrate this property of our nervous system is a funeral, where some people are grieving so intensely they cannot eat at all, while others cannot stop eating.
As we lighten our diets to vegetarian, vegan and eventually raw, we quite commonly become more aware of our emotional selves. When we commit to eating a raw diet, we gravitate toward fatty foods to provide emotional numbing, as most fresh fruits are not sufficient sedatives to overcome emotional distress. Usually this leads to the consumption of exorbitant amounts of nuts or seeds, which are easy to overeat, because they do not quickly trigger satiation. Digestive distress and undue suffering result from this behavior.

The answer to all this lies not in consuming food at all, but in maintaining emotional poise and developing the ability to fully feel our emotions. "

Wow, what a lesson. I know I have yet to really learn it, but I'm on the path which at least offers some comfort. It makes so much sense though. I stopped being so into songwriting and poetry when I first began struggling with BED. I thought it was just that I was so obsessed with food that I wasn't allowing my other passions in but that wasn't the whole of it. It was also the fact that I was suppressing my emotions by smothering my nervous system with food. For the next three days I'm going to live off of cucumber and lemon mineral water. I might put in a little wheat grass powder and stevia too just to make it even more alkalizing. I don't have a whole lot going on so I won't be stressed. I'll be able to take the time to relax, meditate and reflect on some things. I need to allow myself to feel and process emotions without stuffing them down.